She has trouble expressing what she really feel, to anyone, she keeps it inside her for so long until she can find someone to pour it all over together, someone she trusts the most. She’s easily feel bad, sensitively touched, she feels guilty all the time even though she did nothing wrong. Many years she’s been trying to fix it, but still no solution. She keeps feeling guilty…until now. She loves helping people till she forgets to help herself. Is it really worth it? For her? It depends, whenever she feels like helping, sharing difficultness with people, she finds it easy and she will say “piece of cake” However, whenever she helps based on pity, she’ll say “why did I take this job? It’s irritating me!”
She’s having this trouble appraising why did she say "yes" to someone. The answer is,
“I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me” (quoted from Runaway Bride). She wishes the answer is that simple, but she will not use someone else’s word. She hasn’t been in love for long; she forgets what it’s like to be loved. Maybe that’s why she feels guilty a lot, because she afraid to lose someone who she cares about. She’s been playing it safe all along.
She’s a goober, many people find it really disturbing, but he doesn’t. He sees the other side of her. Probably he thinks being a goober is pretty cool or funny. It’s amusing for him, but no one knows what he thinks except him. For him, she collects ten things she hates about herself just to tell him how she feels because she can’t seem to find the perfect words for him. There’s a time when she wonders, “Do you love me because you need me? Or you need me because you love me?” She really doesn’t know what to say, she can only tell him “You see me from the other side and I hope you stay that way”
She’s a midget! Millions of people call her that, but she doesn’t care! Because for her, she’s not short, others just too tall. Once again, nobody’s perfect.
She’s average! Well, she thinks it’s true, even though sometimes she thinks she’s outstanding. Her life is like a rotating wheel, up and down every single time. Sometimes she’s at the top, and sometimes she’s at the bottom, however, that’s life! She prefers knowledge way better than grades. She chooses understanding much more than memorizing, and of course she picks remembering more than just knowing. She complains a lot sometimes, but then five minutes later she’s wondering “What was I complaining about?” Her life’s complicated! People might see her as a wealthy girl who can have everything she wants, but she’s not. You might see her life as a paradise but it really is not. She works hard to get what she wants (at least that’s what she thinks) She had to be at the top of the class so she can get her first cell-phone, by the next semester she fell to the third place, her father took her cell-phone back. By the time she reached the top again, she won her cell-phone back. Life’s hard but fair…so far.
She’s clumsy, yes it’s true…she admits it. She fell off her motorcycle more than ten times, one time she left two scratchy scars on her back and four stitches on her head. It was a horrible memory. On her way to the beach she broke the wheel of her first car, cost her lots of money and efforts to fix it. Not to mention, she trips a lot, perhaps, for some people, falling down is the most embarrassing moment you could ever had, in contrast, for her, falling down is another chance to find the way up, learning to stand up all over again. She sneezes every time she finished her meal; it’s specially genetic from her father.
She has a ‘mirror’ well at least it used to be a ‘mirror’. Her sister, who’s two years older than her. She used to feel like she’s living underneath her sister’s shadow…”living in a shadow in someone else’s dream” But it’s all over now, she’s not there anymore. She made her own shadow and defined her own pathway. She escaped from the ‘mirror’. It’s not broken but it’s still there, only she never looked at it anymore. She now focused on her own reflection.
There’s so many things stay-hidden underneath her, she just never had the guts to let it out. Perhaps, she doesn’t have to let it out, some things are better if it stays hidden until it’s ready to burst out. It’s all based on how you dig the mud and how you solve the puzzle. If you ask her who she is, she probably can never answer that, because she has no idea. Well, the bottom line, it doesn’t matter who you are.
“It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that divines you” (quoted from Batman Begins)
That quote was never right for her. The most important thing is who you are deep down inside. Do whatever you want, but let your ‘underneath’ guides you. It might take a while to figure out what this writing really means but eventually you’ll understand. I guess she has to learn how to stop using the word ‘she’ and start using the word ‘I’
